Tag:Roger Clemens
Posted on: May 1, 2008 9:49 am
Edited on: May 1, 2008 9:54 am

Roger, Lets Go By the HS and Pick Up Some Chicks

God help my soul for what I am about to write.  Only in my current state would I even tackle the subject at hand.  My current state by the way is hungover and 2 minutes removed from puking my brains out into my toilet.  Yeah sometimes when shots of Grey Goose at 5 in the morning seems like a good idea, ultimately it's not.  So while I was emptying the contents of my stomach into said toilet, I was thinking about something else that needs to be flushed away...Roger Clemens.

I swore after the Mindy McCready incident that I was done with Roger Clemens because he had passed the point where he could ever save face.  And then last night, I drunk Googled, and I saw yet another story on Roger Clemens.  This time it was about Roger and John Daly's ex-wife Paulette Daly.  Just like McCready, Paulette said she new Roger and were good friends, but when asked if they had sex, she said she felt uncomfortbale talking about it.

Okay I'm in no state to be intellectual but I will translate for you.  'I'm uncomfortable talking about it' is a long way of saying yes.  Because if she didn't have sex with Roger, it wouldn't be uncomfortable, it would just be no.  But at this point who cares.  We get it, Roger is a cheater.  He cheated on the baseball field and he cheated on his wife.  Tomorrow there is going to be a story about how Stan and Betty Sowers, Roger's neighbors, have a hidden camera tape of Roger flashing Debbie signs and cheating at Pictionary during their weekly draw off.  Okay already, he's a cheater.

Not that I'm defending Roger, he makes me want to run back to my bathroom and dry heave, but enough is enough.  I hated hearing about him when he was the 40+ year old wonder man pitching for the Astros and Yankees.  And then I liked watching him look like a complete jacknozzle in front of Congress, doing his best Webster's dictionary impression and making up words, though I misremember what words they actually were.  But at this point I'm over it.  He messed up any chance of saving face by not coming right out and telling the truth about his steroid use during his Blue Jays days and now he'll forever be tainted in the eyes of the sports world.

He should've taken a page from best friend Andy Pettitte's book but he didn't, so now lets let Roger fade into the sunset.  There are a lot more worthy sports stories out there, that we don't need to be wasting keystrokes on Roger Clemens.  Like for instance, I heard a guy on the Pro Bowling Tour bowled a 299 enroute to a tournament victory the past Sunday.

Category: MLB
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